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When boy and girl first together, they normally will encountered many of the couple talkproblems in their relationships because they known that they were different in terms of attitude, mindset and even experience. However, they were able to overcome all these problems and one of the secrets of their success was good communication between boy and girl.

Generally, they communicated among themselves are well because they spoke different languages. When they had problems, they can bring out the problems and get it over with. Let say, the boy and girl talk in same languages however the way they were used produce different meanings and understanding. Their expressions were similar and they end up with different connotations or feelings emphasis. In all the relationships, misinterpreting between couple is something that very easy to occur and it is not something new. So when communication problems between partners move out, they assumed it was just misunderstandings and that with a little help from third party they would surely understand each other. All this stage, they already experienced a trust and acceptance that we rarely experience today.

Expressing Feelings Versus Expressing Information

Even today, when a boy and girl talk use the same words but they get the same meaning and always end up with misunderstanding even. For example, when a girl says “I feel like you never pay attention to me,” she does not know that the word never to be taken literally. Using the word never is just a way of showing the anger that she is feeling at the moment. It is not suitable to use if girl only try to simply info the boy.

To fully express girl feelings, she assumes that uses of poetic license and uses different kind of superlatives, metaphors, and generalizations however boy mistakenly takes these expressions literally. This is because they misunderstand the intended of the meaning that behind the words. Most commonly, they respond negatively towards girl meaning. In the following chart contain ten complaints that misinterpreted, as well as how a boy might respond negatively.


From the chart, you can see how a “literal” translation of a girl’s words could be misleading a boy who is used to using speech to attract the girl. In fact boy’s responses had high possible that can lead to an argument. It can interpret unclear and unloving communication in relationships and cause big problem in the relationships. By the way number one complaint girls had is: “I don’t feel heard.” And this complaint is lead to misunderstood and misinterpreted!

In term of boy’s literal translation of “I don’t feel heard” leads

him to invalidate and easily lead to arguments with her. He thinks he has heard her if he can respond to what that she has said. Actually translation of a girl saying that “I don’t feel heard” so that a boy could correctly interpret as: “I feel as though you don’t fully understand what I really mean to say or care about how I feel. Would you show me that you are interested in what I have to say?”

couple fightIf a boy really understood her complaint then he would argue less and be able to respond more positive manner. When boy and girl are hot or upset due to argument, they are generally will misunderstand each other and at this time, it is important to reconsider what they have heard. Listen carefully and it can avoid the further damage that had being done.

Because many boys just don’t understand that the girls are thinking differently, they so call “not suitable” judge or invalidate her feelings and again it leads to arguments. Listen to your partner carefully and get somebody such as consultant for interpretation if necessary.